@KentWGraham: I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.
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@Jennuflect: [At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?
@DurtMcHurtt: Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating.
@YoungFunE: Bought the 'Sounds of the Rainforest' cd, not as relaxing as I hoped. The 1st half was birds chirping, rest was chainsaws and bulldozers
@ericsshadow: THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise