@zachreinert03: I got fired from being the events coordinator at the local orphanage. I think it's cause family day never really took off
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@ObscureGent: I never took a drama class but everyone at this birthday believes that I love this gluten free cake.
@Sickayduh: "Ewww how'd that get in the house? I don't wanna kill it. I'll just put it outside" *scoops your baby up in a tissue*
@ArfMeasures: [Date's house] ME: I'd love to see u again DATE: That would be nice ME [whispers to her dog] ok what do I do she thinks I'm talking to her
@JaneBadall: My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas.