@Izianikapani: I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano.
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@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Ian is coming over." Me: "Ian from work or Ian who is good at disguises?" Wife: "Ian- *pulls off mask* -who is good at disguises!"
@SlabBaconBP: How to make your girl feel special: 1) Write down how you feel about your drink or drug of choice. 2) Put her name on it & give it to her.
@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me