@Izianikapani: I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano.
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@Book_Krazy: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over Me: Idk, but could you move this along? I've had too much to drink and I really need to pee.
@oxygenplug: "yes I'm very good in bed" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* "Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"
@bourgeoisalien: man: you're beautiful me: gross man: humanity is a black hole of stupid and i'm dying inside me: [heart beats fast] oh my god are you single