@j0eg0d: I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me.
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@sarapascoe: When people write to tell me I'm not good at comedy, I reply "Well you're not good at fan mail" then we all laugh &they are proved wrong.
@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?
@lisaxy424: I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial.
@zoeklar: stan is such a liar - at first he's like "i'm your biggest fan" but THEN he says his little brother matthew likes eminem even more than him