@j0eg0d: I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.
@SteveMartinToGo: Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, "Wait a minute. I have that."
@priya_ebooks: o yeah u love women??? name their last three albums. thought so. u don't listen to women