@JulianLeeComedy: I got kicked out of Monochromes Anonymous for using colourful language.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's crash headfirst into this guy going 80 mph's windshield.
@JeremyInKC: Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.
@livingnBoston: NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?
@murrman5: *holds up 2 ties* which one, I have a big meeting today "both are nice" [wife calls later] "how'd it go" well, wearing 2 ties was a disaster