@kathybotteas: I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: Both of our hamsters died and we just can't part with them Taxidermist: Would you like them mounted? Me: Um no, just holding hands
@LordofScribble: As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes.
@causticbob: My wife said "You only love me because my father left me a million pounds." "That's not true, I'd still love you whoever left it to you"
@doktorj: As an only child with a pet cat that bullied me, the pool cleaning robot was my closest friend.