@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.
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@NoorShamma: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!
@NathanBgood: He died doing what he loved, waving a metal rod on a rooftop in a storm, yelling FU, GOD! Although he slipped & fell, Ted's memory lives on.
@TheToddWilliams: TRUMP: Let's get that Muslim Band going "Band? We thought you said ban" TRUMP: No way, that's harsh. Also, how's that Mexican mall coming?