@theshantilly: I got myself into this mess, and I can get myself further into this mess.
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@jeffporper: Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch.
@WilliamRodgers: My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! What an idiot! Who threatens someone with a vacation???
@Knob_ish: I see the 'pet rocks' are back and fighting too! *Rolls in 6ft diameter granite boulder* *Folds arms, taps foot*
@relatabledad: every morning i swallow a piece of paper that says "keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case i die and doctors gotta do an autopsy on me