@theshantilly: I got myself into this mess, and I can get myself further into this mess.
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@SteveSackington: My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund.
@ashleyaustrew: I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. No, not you. You. On the left. Other left. No. Jesus Christ, I'll do it myself.
@Cheeseboy22: All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.