@chopper4jk: I got new neighbors today, I hope they like my music as much as the last 9 families did.
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@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*
@Julescoop: The real power of a man... Is the size of the smile on his woman's face sitting next to him.
@FrenulumBreve: HIM: [awkwardly] wanna go see a movie? HER: sure, sounds great. [next day] HIM: could i maybe come with you next time?
@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.