@WheelTod: I got picked on in Highschool: I was cut from the football team & failed the cheerleading tryouts on the same day they fired me as principal
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@Home_Halfway: "10 Things I Hate About You" is my favorite movie that sounds like a bitter Buzzfeed article
@seriouslyemily: This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here.
@cwhudson: SURGEON: hold on, i just need to YouTube this part of the procedure PHONE: *unskippable ad plays* NURSE: he's dyin SURGEON: ah crap, hold on
@DurtMcHurtt: I love giving a little kid the tongue, and then watching him run to his mother holding the severed tongue I just gave him.