@dance_blessed: I got this "breathe" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
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@Donna_McCoy: You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving.
@iAmDelFreaky: Mom: Any big plans today? Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and... Mom: The mail doesn't come on Sundays. Me: Oh, then no. :'(
@scriptdave: Biden: I wanna join the protest. Obama: Joe, we've been over this. Biden: But they're-- Obama: How about some ice cream? . . . Biden: Okay.
@Cheeseboy22: The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices.