I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.

@jacob_swift16: 'What I'm about to say is extremely important!!' -Drunk people

1

@DaddyJew: 7: I wanna watch a movie Me: its late, sleep 7: I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE M: fine *puts in Texas Chainsaw Massacre* goodnight you little shit

1

@Michael_Erhart: "Please don't make a scene." -Horrible movie director

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@prufrockluvsong: Player 1: There goes his funny bone. Player 2: *buzz* Don't touch the sides! Surgeon: What are you two doing in here?!

1

@sfreeze6: [HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't "contract" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it

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