@4Anno: I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
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@NicCageMatch: I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911.
@JonnyGoodTimes: My girlfriend HATES it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend ( ._.)
@ChrisStokdyk: Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, "My God, I look like a pillow" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow.
@KalvinMacleod: My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out.