@TheSharona06: I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so
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@jdforshort: If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine
@RegularFred: Wife: that's never going to work Husband: you're so negative, Sandra W: you're planting bird seeds H: LET ME GROW MY BIRDS, WOMAN
@causticbob: I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds.