@pauleggleston: I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee
@mrtruthandsoul: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "You thought I'd like your pretty lights?" "Recite the alphabet backwards" "I can't even do that sober"