@pauleggleston: I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!
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@thatdutchperson: [Person who spends 20 hours per week in the gym] "The trick is to drink 8 glasses of water a day."
@Cpin42: In the beginning, people laughed at my penguin army. No one’s laughing now. I’m receiving treatment and everyone’s been really supportive.
@karencreets: Blah blah blah employee handbook, just get to the point where you say if you're gonna drug test me or not
@PinkCamoTO: Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife? Because you're a smaller, less effective version of everything I need.