@Betfairpoker: I had a fight once. "You should see the other guy!" I said. My wife agreed. She's been seeing him for years now, they're a lovely couple.
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@ibid78: "So why do you wanna work at Petsmart?" *imagines running out of the store with all the dogs in my arms* "I'm a people person."
@joshgondelman: I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is.
@Smug_Lemur: Anyone who says living well is the best revenge has clearly never relocated a bat colony while their enemy was at work.
@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.