@bridger_w: I had a jacket stolen from me tonight. My enemies will stop at nothing to keep me from maintaining a comfortable body temperature in style
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@sucittaM: If the US ever decides to change its currency from the dollar to the unmatched tupperware lid I'll be a very wealthy man.
@LookAwayMomDad: I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status.