@Try2StopME: I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.
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@CatherineLMK: How come when someone says “we need to talk” it’s never about ice cream or Star Wars?
@: Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store.
@thatUPSdude: 50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy, he will now be known as 50. Story is he doesn't have a cent to his name. *drops the mic walks away*