@Try2StopME: I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.
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@NigelGrinstead: ME: My name is Nigel and I'm an alcoholic. AA GROUP: Hi Nigel. *cut to confessional camera* ME: I'm here to WIN, not to make friends.
@Dustinkcouch: Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny.
@68Cly29: Puts fitbit on dogs collar. Throws the ball around. Sits on the couch and eat chips. Wins all the challenges
@VeggieMonger: Someone suggested that I try Acupuncture. I don't think adding more pricks will make a difference.