@BritXNic: I had an affair with English. Since then, Math and I don't speak.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jctwritesstuff: So let me get this straight. A dude comes back to life after three days and no one cuts his head off?
@dshack8: 3. The number of times you can flip a grilled cheese sandwich before you notice that you have the pan on the wrong burner...cuz of Twitter.
@foxnerdrn: Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?
@JohnLyonTweets: The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph.