@Alex_N_Chains: I had my appendix taken out as a child. They said it was useless, but based on my life since then, I'm guessing it controls motivation.
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@imasmartass37: I caught someone stalking me so I stalked them right back. It got awkward sitting in the same tree staring at each other.
@TitaniumToplass: I jump out of bushes to give surprise breast exams. I save lives. nnThe police are on the lookout for me. Probably to give me an award.
@ZackBornstein: First Obama came for my guns. Then he came for my knives. Then he came for my dinette set. Then he redecorated the whole place. It's lovely.
@taitutu: Judging by your selfie, I can't help wonder why your mother didn't try & sell you to a circus when you were younger.