@Alex_N_Chains: I had my appendix taken out as a child. They said it was useless, but based on my life since then, I'm guessing it controls motivation.
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@tinynietzsche: The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping.
@briancthayer: [house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!
@carlyken: *travels back to 1930's* okay and that's why you've got to kill hitler FBI: wait so you can just look at naked lady videos anytime you want