@jeffreyvanclea1: I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor
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@librarianfonz: Growing up in a household dominated by females, you learn: 1. The importance of listening 2. 101 euphemisms for "the monthly visitor"
@tacos_y_cerveza: If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20
@YoungNobler: Mike Pence has a strong resume, including Governor of Indiana and Shawshank Prison Guard. #VPDebate
@LoveNLunchmeat: Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras.