@cynicanoldicus: I had pamphlets printed up for when someone asks what's wrong with me.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Friend: What time is it? Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away) Friend: Well? Me: Well what?
@INDlAN_: If you don’t sleep now, you’ll sleep during the exam. If you sleep now, you’ll fail in the exam. Life is a mess.
@FinnMcIver: I recently bought one of those Dutch ovens, but everything I cook ends up tasting like farts.