@Kim_pulsive: I had sex twice in 24hours and I'm so glad that I have 4000 people to brag about it to
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@Kendragarden: My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?
@DanMentos: [guy in charge of naming superheroes] Superman, next Batman, next Wonder Woman, next Aquaman, next *takes a hit of acid* Green Lantern
@iGreenMonk: I touch myself when I think of you Oh! Wait It's not what you're thinking, I mean I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you.
@squirrel74wkgn: [on a date] Her: *sneezes* Me: God- Her: *sneezes* Thank you Me: -dammit, what's taking the food so long?