@Kim_pulsive: I had sex twice in 24hours and I'm so glad that I have 4000 people to brag about it to
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@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.
@jjhartinger: I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, "thank you baby jesus" and left.
@BradBroaddus: My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.