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@Crowetoons: "I had the worst Cruise ever." - Katie Holmes
@NurseSeymour: Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind.
@ExtraGrumpyCat: OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!!
1): Hold your breath for 5 minutes
@Rollinintheseat: If a British person calls 911 and says, "It's a bloody mess" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British
@junejuly12: No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended.