@bea_ker: I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier.
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@HeyZeus666: Intellectual. A man who can explain electricity but doesn't know how to screw in a light bulb.
@just1fool: I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza.
@AbrasiveGhost: ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun