@bea_ker: I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier.
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@NickMotown: To back up his "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying "no it doesn't"
@_wendyb07: I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back.
@JasonLastname: First thing on my bucket list is to jump off a cliff and the rest are just tricks I'll do in the air.
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Welcome to McDonalds sir, may I take your order? Me: *hands her a shovel with mouth agape* ALL. THE. FRIES.