@bea_ker: I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier.
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@Togsbabble: My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the "what is this shit" look.
@brennadine: CUT, CUT!! [Music stops] LOOK IT'S A WESTERN MUSICAL [Rubs temples] YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE COWBOY HAT ON- [Cat runs off] Meow!
@DecantAndPour: I can tell if someone's uncomfortable around me just by staring at them for 3 hours.
@KeetPotato: [firemen meeting] if we had a pole instead of stairs, we could get to the trucks much quicker *from back* "why dont we just sit downstairs?"