@dumbbeezie: I hang crystals in my window as a warning to other crystals
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@AGreaterMonster: Dear Applicant, Your résumé appears to be a string of stolen tweets. Congratulations, you're our new VP of Marketing!
@chuuew: LIFE HACK: At the end of a night out, go to a Domino's Pizza, order a delivery then catch a ride with the driver. Dinner + transport home!
@therealeatwood: All I wanna do is *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *gun cocks* *cash register* Get this reference