@jus4golf: I hang out with people smarter than me so when the zombies attack they will eat their brains first while I escape. Who's the idiot now Mom!?
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@AbbyHasIssues: I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket, so it looks like someone is buying name brand aluminum foil this week.
@thetits: [Later, Snake sees a Lizard] Snake (to God): DUDE! Seriously?? *God and Lizard high-five, adding insult to injury*
@joeljeffrey: Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.