@jus4golf: I hang out with people smarter than me so when the zombies attack they will eat their brains first while I escape. Who's the idiot now Mom!?
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*
@heidi420x: Not to brag, but I parallel parked without hitting anything, taking 15 mins, or winding up on the sidewalk. No cars were around, but still.
@DancesWithTamis: "Hola! I'm Señor Coconut, children" [cracks head on the pavement. Children scream] "Drink me. Drink me. I'm full of vitamins and minerals"