@NikiWithIssues: I hate airplanes and flying. It's like someone throwing a can full of people over the ocean and hoping someone in Europe will catch it.
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@rockymomax: Her: u have a choice its me or the megaphone Me: fine Her: good Me: [puts megaphone directly to her ear] I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE
@thejessbess: First date: *puts entire onion ring in mouth* If yo'lik et ven yo'shoulla puh a wring owh it.
@AimeeHelene1: *Husband forgets to close screen on door* *4 hrs later* Me: *feels furriness on my leg in bed* *rolls over* Squirrel: *stares*
@_davidlucas_: He goes out for a run, and doesn't even stop to sniff any crotches. Humans are weird. ~Dogs.