@pattonoswalt: I hate all the "creepy clown" news. I'm having a clown solidarity march at dusk near an abandoned insane asylum. Need a calliope player.
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@ewfeez: [spelling bee] Your word is "coincide" -could u use it in a sentence? Sure: When the nickel murdered the penny it was a case of "coincide"
@ArfMeasures: ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting
@TeaPainUSA: Conservatives say the problem is Christianity ain't taught in schools. The real problem is Christianity ain't taught in church.