@pattonoswalt: I hate all the "creepy clown" news. I'm having a clown solidarity march at dusk near an abandoned insane asylum. Need a calliope player.
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@Dawn_M_: Some people don't like awkward silences but I do because that's when I think about Thundercats.
@SirEviscerate: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?" Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me.
@QwertyJones3: "My brother's coming over for dinner." Ugh, is he still talking only in country names? *brother walks in* "Chad Hungary. Jamaica Turkey?"
@iFluff8: Men ask us if we're naked when we tell them we're taking a bath. THAT'S why they pay more for their car insurance.