@SkinnerSteven: "I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped
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@DaddyJew: Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign Me: I got lost in the music C: what song? M: I'd rather not say C: what song?!? M: I saw the sign
@Book_Krazy: [Spelling bee] Your word is Monogamous. M-O-N-O-T-O-N-O-U-S *2 Judges stare at each other* 1st judge *nods* 2nd judge: "We'll allow it"
@InternetHippo: 911 OPERATOR (female): What’s your emergency GUY (being murdered): Haha nothing what are you up to