@TheBoydP: I enjoy learning about the world by watching the Olympics. So far I’ve learned that Canada ISN’T the only country that participates in curling.
@jctwritesstuff: "At least you'll be safe from zombies," I whisper to myself as I struggle to get my head out of the armhole of my shirt.
@michaelianblack: Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, "Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"
@EverydayGirlDad: As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: What did you just do?
CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason*
ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she’s after both of us*
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