@WheelTod: I hate being woken up so if you find me sleeping, let me rest. If you can't follow that simple rule, next time just hire another pilot.
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@AimeeHelene1: *yells at husband* I can't make it fit! It won't fit! Him: Just turn it a little. Me: *screams in excitement* We finished the puzzle!!
@LuvPug: It must be pretty inconvenient when you meet someone from a dating site and you're already married to them.
@ericsshadow: WIFE: [crying] guess what my sister just told me ME: she's a liar WIFE: are you saying her dog didn't die? ME: [wiping sweat] I love you