@WheelTod: I hate being woken up so if you find me sleeping, let me rest. If you can't follow that simple rule, next time just hire another pilot.
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@BoogTweets: Dad: What is taking him so long to get me that crow bar? Me: *Applying for a liquor license* Yes I'm serious, it's just for crows.
@TragicAllyHere: *trapped in a sinking car* I should call 911 *car fills with water* Ugh I hate phone calls *head barely above water* Can I just text them