@WheelTod: I hate being woken up so if you find me sleeping, let me rest. If you can't follow that simple rule, next time just hire another pilot.
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@SteveSackington: If you say "cash money" around me, Don't act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
@TheHyyyype: ME: i honestly only had one drink WIFE: i don't believe a word you just said ME: no, i swear *pulls out dictionary* they're all real
@YesThatAmy: What did I do before Twitter? Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY?!?!
@timdonakowski: When your great-grandchildren call you racist for thinking all monkeys look the same.