@TheSkyIScrape_: I hate birds as much as the next guy, but not enough to hold one prisoner in a cage at my home
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@: My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA
@JediGigi: [1st date] Him: Wanna come back to my place for a bit? Me: I thought you’d never ask Him: Oh, really? *winks* Me: Yes, I need somewhere less crowded to summon the Dark Lord
@handsock_butts: HADES: what happens when Aphrodites hair gets frizzy? ZEUS: don't- HADES: i guess u could call her AFROdite ZEUS: this is why we banished u
@johngaysee: If I were Luke Skywalker it would have taken me about six minutes to turn R2-D2 into a bong.