@LizHackett: I hate cooking, but I am excited to debut my cookbook "Toast On A Paper Towel, 365 Ways."
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@hippieswordfish: *bank* 'miss, it says here that your debt is outstanding' *twirls hair* oh yeah? well i think your debt is pretty cool too
@WheelTod: The odds of being killed by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067. So if you know 3,748,066 people who haven't been killed by a shark: avoid the ocean.
@Nahdude83: I was making breakfast, then "She's a maniac" came on the radio... Everything is a blur. Why am I so tired? Why am I in this steel factory?
@mellimelle: I spend 90% of my life trying to do the right thing and the other half wondering why I don't understand Math.