@dreadnaught69: I hate corporate lingo. Stuff like "core competency" or "design out the problem" or "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and do some work today"
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@Vanilla_cupcak: My doctor wasn't amused when he asked how much I weighed and I said One hundred and fat
@shatterpants: If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted...so long as they know kung fu.
@daemonic3: [graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear* [crowd cries] *dad walks in holding starbucks* "traffic, my bad"
@ladybroseph: Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about.