@dreadnaught69: I hate corporate lingo. Stuff like "core competency" or "design out the problem" or "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and do some work today"
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@BooFricketyHoo: I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door.
@thatUPSdude: Her: So, how did you get that scar on your chin? Me: *flashes back to slipping in the shower* Hunting wild boar.
@novicefather: Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks. Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets.
@SatansTongue: *snail Olympics* How does it feel? "Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? "What"