@lwhit_the_boss: I hate double standards. If a baby crawls around, it's "adorable," but if I do, I'm "causing a disturbance" and "need to leave"? Whatever.
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@LilBlueBlood: Stranger adds me to facebook *has a panic attack* Creepy as hell stranger follows on twitter *does victory dance*
@midnitesoc: "The Walking Dad," but it's just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he's "not made of money"
@MyPolishFace: Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat.