@lwhit_the_boss: I hate double standards. If a baby crawls around, it's "adorable," but if I do, I'm "causing a disturbance" and "need to leave"? Whatever.
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@TheMichaelRock: Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible.
@CamusOverEasy: The Blue Tooth in your ear tells me you are expecting an important call. At Walmart. At 8:00 AM. On Sunday. In the snack food aisle. Ma'am.
@shutupmikeginn: Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift.