@someofmybest: "I hate fake girls." *a nearby girl's coat busts open and four dogs tumble out*
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@TheWoodenslurpy: If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
@seanoconnz: THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here? ME: Please don't look at me, my shirt is off.
@anjadrisch: My anti bacterial hand wash promises to kill germs & moisturise at the same time. Such violence & nurturing from the one product.