@someofmybest: "I hate fake girls." *a nearby girl's coat busts open and four dogs tumble out*
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@ceejoyner: Using spin moves while allowing an opponent's sword to narrowly miss your head forces them to add majestic layers and volume to your hair.
@BlindChow: "You lie like a doge!" I tell my wife. "So deceit!" I add. "Very fraud!" I mention. "Much fiction!" I point out. "Wow," she says.
@Bandersnaaatch: Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.