@SocialExtortion: I hate going to the dentist, he is always like "did you eat Oreos before you came in?" and "you are still eating Oreos, I can see you"
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@buhsbaby_baby: [before sex] Just so you know.. I can only be on top cause' I'm not gonna take my backpack off
@sarcasticmommy4: I annoyed my kids so bad they told ME to go to bed. So it looks like this parenting thing has come full circle.
@rockymomax: HER: I'm leaving you ME: why HER: u lie to me constantly ME: ha! u don't just leave the man who invented the spatula Amber
@Tmoney68: [Hunting Robots] Me: You a robot? Robot: Would a robot read this? *shows me copy of Totally Not A Robot magazine* M: Hm. That checks out.