@FattMernandez: I hate horror movies where everything goes back to normal at the end. You just had a demon inside you, but yeah, let's go for pancakes.
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@Jake_Vig: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think, there are people out there who don't get to read my tweets.
@SondraDeeMe: [Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets.
@SarahAMoulton: I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. "Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."
@Arrogant_Twat: My stomach just made a really weird noise. I’m sending a pizza down to check it out.