@imence2: I hate how every single day my ex wife just keeps waking up!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jrza84: HI I'M GOING TO HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD YET PRIVATE PHONE CALL ON THIS BUS AND EXHIBIT A STUNNING LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. THANK YOU.
@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.
@natedeschaine: How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany? #ThomasDieKleineLokomotive
@CornOnTheGoblin: [purposefully keeps messing up my hot dog eating scene] director: cut! [sighs] bring in another hot dog, take 11