@DominicStraw: I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
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@citizenkawala: My wife’s story about her day had 18 sub plots, two false finishes, buried the lead and introduced a new character in the third act.
@SlabBaconBP: My son asked me what humble means. I told him it means pretending you're not better than everybody else.