@DominicStraw: I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
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@jannable9: Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.
@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"
@daveexplosm: Dogs lick each other's butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
@jonnysun: "knock knock" whos there "orange" orange who "orange u glad im not a banana?" .... MARTHA THERES A RACIST ORAMGE AT THE DOOR DO I LET HIM IN