@AsYouNotWish: I hate it when celebrities ask me to donate to some fund, you make 30 millions a movie & I make $30 a day. You send money.
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@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today
@mrtruthandsoul: Wife: We're going to Jessie's BBQ today. Me: She's the one with the big--- Wife: They're fake! Me: So? -liveTweeting from the DogHouse
@SarahB_D: If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.