@AsYouNotWish: I hate it when celebrities ask me to donate to some fund, you make 30 millions a movie & I make $30 a day. You send money.
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@anagramps: "My nose is going to grow now" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time.
@murrman5: ...and tonight's final jeopardy category is Greek Mythology *giant centaur snorts and smiles at the other two contestants*
@DannyZuker: Just getting romantic with the wife when our slow cooker set off our smoke alarm so yes, I was crock blocked.
@Smethanie: I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint.