@MrSpoonicorn: i hate it when i eat a slice of bread and it grows into a bread tree in my stomach
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@NintenDom: It's Facebook's 10th birthday today. Let's all click "Maybe" on the event invite and then not show up.
@OutOfLeftField_: If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.