@TheCatWhisprer: I hate it when I forget to bring my phone in the car and have to read a shampoo bottle while I drive.
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@BumbleDC: If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)
@sixfootcandy: Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art.
@moooooog35: I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too.