@Underchilde: I hate it when I have lots of visitors but only enough chloroform for one and have to use it on myself.
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@Mikecanrant: *puts baby marshmallows on a porcupine* There you go little guy. Now you're bouncy.
@ben_watt: Just now on tube. Man in rush loses coat draped round shoulders in train doors. Woman retrieves it and calls out 'Batman, your cape.'
@Reverend_Scott: [party] What exactly does BYOB mean? "Bring your own beer" Bill Nye the Science Guy slowly slides the bacteria sample back in his lab coat