@Rollinintheseat: I hate it when I sit down on a warm public toilet seat and I have to set myself on fire.
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@daplusk: Parenting tip: see if your child has learnt to swear by turning the wifi off while they're gaming online
@ixix82: *remembers company is coming* *checks all the garbage cans, switching out Walmart bags for real trash bags like some sort of rich person*
@RxitWounds: *Sits straight up in bed* "THE CHILDREN" *Kids are sitting in the produce department while two watermelons sleep peacefully in their beds*