@Rollinintheseat: I hate it when I sit down on a warm public toilet seat and I have to set myself on fire.
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@CharmandBrains: *Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now.
@Sarcasticsapien: Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.
@pleatedjeans: If u drink the blue liquid from a Magic 8-Ball u can see the future trust me my friend Keith did once & said he was gonna die & then he did
@halvewit: I think my neighbor is very sick. I have now seen him putting no less than six of his arms in his garbage over the past year.