@OuterJohn: I hate it when I'm digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure.
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@jbillinson: Obama: Tell Joe why he can't booby trap the White H- Biden: Now hold on a second, just know that no matter what you say I'm doing it anyways
@LurkAtHomeMom: You ran a 5k? Like on purpose or do you just have a lot of bees in your neighborhood?
@JermHimselfish: Sorry I didn't text you back, my hands are sore from karate chopping loaves of bread in half and feeding them to starving children all day.