@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green.
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@BestScienceJoke: Some cardinals and some ordinals walked into a bar, but the ordinals walked in first.
@MarkAgee: People are shitting on gorilla kid's mom for not watching. My mom had three kids under 5. I could've run a terrorist cell outta my treehouse
@repomon: Knock knock?? Who's there?? Jehovah Witness. Knock knock?? Knock knock?? Hello?? Knock knock??
@vineyille: If you like piña coladas / Getting caught in the rain / Drink this piña colada / It was caught in the rain