@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I'm on twitter & there isn't a car behind me to honk when the light is green.
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@mydmac: According to the law it's not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
@GrantTanaka: "I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean." -Unorganized Crime
@murrman5: "the immaturity and the copying are my main issues" I say in a whiny voice as my wife storms out of the counsellors office
@DawleyGirl: Dinner conversation: 10YO: What 6 things would you want on a deserted island? Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously? Why would you drag me into that?