@ThisLocalHater: I hate it when I’m trying to discreetly pick a wedgie in public and inadvertently end up doing every dance routine from Spice World.
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@SocialExtortion: Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
@WilliamAder: Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough.
@socarolinesays: I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water