@WakeVII: I hate it when I'm trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
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@KentWGraham: Don’t be fooled by the treadmill in my basement. I got it so I can be in a recliner drinking a beer even when I’m walking the dog.
@Reverend_Scott: "SOMEONE IS VAPING" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it "HURRY" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE "OMG" 911: GET OUT GET OUT
@Roweboat13G: For a good party trick, drill a hole in the top of your medicine cabinet and fill it with marbles before you invite people over.
@ClichedOut: Reasons I visit a TL: 1. You're a genius 2. You're far from a genius 3. I like you 4. I know you hate me and want you to know I know