@jlock17: I hate it when my sock puppets fight. I don't have a free hand to break them up.
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@One_FineMess: I don't understand why New Years Eve is such a big deal. I get drunk and tell myself lies all the time. Who needs a special day for that?
@XplodingUnicorn: [looking at an old pic of me and my wife in college] Me: Wow, you used to be hot Wife: *death glare* Me: ...but not as hot as you are now